"Laughter? Do people ever care about laughter? I mean real laughter, beyond joking, mockery, ridicule. Laughter, an immense and delicious sensual pleasure, wholly sensual pleasure...
"I said to my sister, or she said to me, come over, shall we play laughter? We stretched out side by side on a bed and began. By pretending, of course. Forced laughter. Laughable laughter. Laughter so laughable it made us laugh. Then it came, real laughter, total laughter, taking us into its immense tide. Bursts of repeated, rushing, unleashed laughter, magnificent laughter, sumptuous and mad... And we laugh our laughter to the infinity of laughter... Oh laughter! Laughter of sensual pleasure, sensual pleasure of laughter; to laugh is to live profoundly."
(MK)
He was experiencing a terrible sense of disorder that affected his whole being. He was afraid he would lose control of himself. He tried to fasten his attention on something, think about something - anything at all - that had nothing to do with all this, but completely failed.
(Fyodor Dostoyevsky)